Smit says two intruders

yep, that's the news at the swamp. Louise says there may have been two intruders because there were two different footprints - one a Hi Tec and the other a SAS. Now we have not just one intruder slithering through that basement window, we have two, hahahahahahahahaha. OMYGAWD, can it get any more bizarre?

Here's a scenario - a skinny intruder wearing two different shoes to throw LE off. He had a Hi Tec on one foot and a SAS on the other. He wore (sex) gloves, but when he left the handprint on the basement door, he didn't have the gloves on. He wore a red wool bandanna over his head - we know that because there were red Patsy fibers on the duct tape covering JBR's mouth. He wore a beaver hair wig. We know that because there was a beaver hair from Patsy's boots, I mean from the wig, on the duct tape covering JBR's mouth. He walked all through that house but left only two footprints, one a Hi Tec, the other a SAS. He is an acrobat, because he hopped on one foot when he carried JB's body into the room with the mold/cement dust on the floor. We also know he is an acrobat because he contorted himself through that window without leaving a trace of himself.

But, wait, here comes super intruder, two. This dude didn't even leave a skin cell, just an SAS footprint. Gawd, I've been looking at this crime all wrong all these years. I feel so awful that I've not believed Louise and her intruder theory. Now that I understand that the intruder actually wasn't one-legged but he had two legs with feet in two different shoes... wait....that's not the way it went. Two intruder, that's right - two one-legged freaks with a Hi Tec shoe and an SAS shoe.

Ahhhh, I've got it. It was Super Intruder and his accomplice, the beaver. No wonder there was beaver hair there - that damn beaver was wearing an SAS shoe on one foot and left that footprint. Man, I should have fingered this out years ago. What's the matter with you people, where are your thinking skills? Why didn't any of you ever consider a beaver with one leg?

 

And from what bodily orifice did Smit pull this one?

 

Oh Bob

you non-believer, you. I don't think it was the one you're thinking of, because mame and jameson are jammed up that one solid.

 

Good God.....did you get all that Greenie?

can we get a composite sketch of these perps..... looks like Mr. Pegleg might not be sick puppy after all.... I'm gonna be so ashamed is we falsely accused pegleg man.
......hey, could be we have 2 one legg-ed hairless perps.
......or one hairless idiot who wore 2 different shoes and used his pet beaver to lure JB downstairs for a pineapple snack.....or....arg!!! make it stop!!

 

Apparently every undateable footprint in that mansion has to be linked to someone before the Ramseys make the suspect list. Just like how every person living in Boulder and beyond must be cleared first.

Man and they say the wealthy have a whole other set of rules!

 

Dammit, you guys!

If you're gonna be this funny, you really oughta supply adult diapers!

Of course there are two intruders, if we can define "intruder" as someone who intruded on JB's sexual parts. So who are the intruders Patsy said herself: The killer and the person he told!