Matt Tobey, a little on the wild side

http://www.annarborpaper.com/content/issue17/politics_17.html

Politics and You
John Ramsey's Run for the Michigan House
by Matthew Tobey

John Ramsey, father of slain miniature beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey, has announced that he intends to run as a Republican for a soon-to-be-vacated seat in the Michigan State House of Representatives. While the news of Phil Collins’ ferret giving birth would have certainly raised more eyebrows, the news made my blood run cold.


If Ramsey wins, not only will there suddenly be one more jackass in the government to cater to the wants of the out of control children’s cosmetics lobby, but it will no doubt open the door to a flood of 90’s-era news celebrities running for office.


Before we know it, Joey Buttafuoco will be running for governor of New York, attracting voters with his plan to balance the budget by selling off all of the state’s dirt. The tempting financial tactic will be too tempting for voters to resist, but in the end, the scheme will prove disastrous when New Yorkers find themselves living atop the earth’s mantle. And if history has taught us anything, it’s that it’s pretty difficult to hold a recall election when the entire constituency is melting and/or on fire.


And if you think that’s bad, just wait until Lyle and Erik Menendez run against each other to be California’s Secretary of State. Being that both brothers are currently serving life sentences in prison, their staffs will be completely comprised of other inmates, with Erik enlisting the help of the Bloods and Lyle gaining the backing of the skinheads. Upping the ante, Erik will promise to crackdown on unlicensed notaries, a position that will convince the Crips to put their emotions aside and join the Bloods for the good of the State.
With the pressure on, Lyle will make some backroom deals to garner the support of the California penal system’s most powerful gang: the pirates. It isn’t publicized much, but The Golden State’s correctional facilities are teaming with convicted pirates, and they’re quite a bunch of movers and shakers.


With the campaigns resorting to dirty tactics, mudslinging will turn to shiv-sticking, and nothing turns voters off more than blood. Seeing no clear difference between the two, Californians will ultimately overlook Erik and Lyle in favor of a third candidate: John Wayne Bobbit.


So unless you want to see a maniacal fascist dictator in California’s Secretary of State office, it might be in your best interest to see that John Ramsey loses in November. A2P

 

He forgot to mention OJ! Maybe OJ can run for Senate in Florida. TIC....

He did a great job, I enjoyed his view!

 

My exact thought.

He says, "it might be in your best interest to see that John Ramsey loses in November."

I imagine this is exactly what will be seen.

 

JC,

Forgive me for not welcoming you! I have been very busy, but that is no excuse. Welcome to the greatest JB forum! I really enjoy your posts. :clap:

I am hoping John-Boy won't make it past the primary.

 

Betcha money.......

By now, Matthew Tobey has already received his honorary phone call from Lin Wood and his warning of financial devestation for daring to print an article unflattering to the Ramseys.

Needless to say, Mr. Tobey is my new Hero! The fact that he did not include OJ impresses me more as we don't need to give that freak any ideas.

RR

 

Great Satire!

John Ramsey's candidacy is a joke. Matt Tobey sees that clearly. Let's hope the voters also see it that way.

 

Matthew Tobey

:highfive:


:takeabow: Matthew :toast:

 

Jack Ryan

Please excuse me for butting in here, most of you know I am logged on here and read here all the time so I hope you won't mind a question. On Fox News, they are carrying a story about Jack Ryan who is running for the senate here in Illinois. His divorce records were made public last night and some pretty interesting information is contained in them and is now out in the public. He was married to actress Jeri-Lynn Ryan of Star Trek fame and I am not certain why the divorce papers were made public but if it works in Iliinois why not Michigan?

Can the voters in Michigan request the Ramsey divorce papers like the voters in Illinois have done? I asked my hubby this question last night and he was snoring before I got an answer as to how one would go about doing that.

 

Since John Ramsey has been divorced only once, I assume you are talking about his divorce from his first wife, Pope.

I don't know the answer to your question, but I THINK divorces are public record. Obviously, since I think it, I could be wrong about that. In this case, though, I don't know why Michiganites would be interested in something that happened in Georgia years ago, since Ramsey is now married to Patsy and has been for close to 20 years.

 

Pope, I don't know why not since they would be a matter of public record.

http://www.publicrecordsinfo.com/public_records/georgia_public_records.htm

 

Thanks, Tez

I appreciate your kind words.

I agree, RR. "That freak" is a killer in my book.

The Ryan man is a freak.

 

Sicko, weirdo politicians!

Jack Ryan and John Ramsey, join the club. That's right where you belong.

I just read about that Oklahoma judge who was booted from the bench for masturbating DURING TRIAL, under his black robe.

Damn perverts are everywhere. :yow:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html

 

Jack Ryan

I see he is out. Blames the media. Tsk, tsk, and ha, ha.