Dave - what a guy!

Cooked rice? LOL Would that be savoury rice? What about noodles? Or macaroni cheese? Better still, black pudding!! That would solve the problem of which music to play for the recessional. The band could strike up:-

"All of a sudden,
...a big black pudden came flying through the air....."

Gonna be good. I feel a whole new range of Madame Jayelles "Candave" wedding apparel coming on.

 

I wouldn't waste my rice. I'm thinking rocks might be a better idea.

 

Ahhh!

Dave
Member since 5-8-02
01-18-06, 12:47 PM (EST)

41. "RE: Gutter freaks"
In response to message #40

Candy,
Thanks for posting about upcoming events, cases, and so on. I really appreciate your keeping us informed on what is going on.

I also appreciate that you separate out the issues, for example ST's behavior versus Ramsey guilt or innocence, and so on. Too many people just swallow whole jars of stuff without thinking what's in there.



Candy
unregistered user
01-18-06, 01:39 PM (EST)

43. "RE: For Dave"
In response to message #0

Thank you Dave. I appreciate it. Good posters value quality information on either side.


Click Me

 

I think it's a toss up between Dave and one-eyed-jack, Jayelles. Or, maybe it's a threesome.

Sounds pretty kinky to me. :whipit: :whipit: :whipit: :whipit: :whipit:

 

Hear hear!

But about that maid of honor...I decline. I'm not dodging buckshot for anyone, not even gutter candy!

I do believe, however, that we have a perfect candidate: Sidney, who not only would be lovely but can also give gutter candy all the pointers she needs for the...em...honeymoon. You know, like "Don't scream out Steve Thomas' name at inappropriate moments...."

Black pudding and cooked rice...haggis...buckshot and moonshine? Sounds like a swamp throw down for the books! It'll be the wedding of the year!

I hope jams remembers to call the tabs!

 

Well, I have always envisioned gutter candy's favorite wardrobe would be dominatrix. I think that is what Dandy Dave fell for, in truth. It got his hard wiring moving...you know...Tell me what a bad boy I am! Spank me, mommy! Spank me!

So if we're throwing a shower here in the guttah for gutter candy...remember to visit your local S&M shop for gifts!

 

Oh, Zott, you aren't going to start all that blubbering, are you? It's a solemn occasion, after all! Two really demented persons are going to unite as one, and the outcome may have us all looking for aliens to beam us up...PRONTO!

 

Well it's funny you should mention OEJ. I have observed that when Candy is responding to male posters that she always uses their names in the posts :-


...Hi Don.... LOL Dave.....LOL Mr Bob etc. She doesn't tend to do this with female posters but she did with OEJ ... "Hi Jack". Except that I'm pretty sure OEJ is a woman!

 

If she starts blubbering again, I'm going to force feed her haggis balls through a straw.

 

Actually.....

The tears were from just THINKING about that haggis ! :beersign:

 

I had a vision in the shower this morning. I think they would be a perfect match.

 

Tricia! Where have you been, Queen of the Guttah?!

We're planning catering and wedding showers and you haven't even gotten your invitation?

Well...in truth...neither have we. But we have friends who have fathers who have access to credentials who will get us in.... It's the swamp way, doncha' know....

So get with the program!

I'm sure gutter candy needs some help booking her honeymoon! Maybe you can call your friend Nancy Krebs and get some info on nice places a newlywed couple can go...like a S&M vacation resort?

Oh! While I'm thinking about it...I found a fabulous product at a "Beauty: Inside and Out" website. I think we might all pitch in and buy gutter candy a lifetime supply: OCD Correction Cream. This would make a GREAT gift, doncha' think?

 

I'm still thinking about fun things for the honeymoon, but they also need pre-wedding parties, you know. I was thinking that it would be nice to have a bridal shower for the bride with male strippers. Does anyone know if Darnay and Alex Hunter and Masked Man are available?

For Dave's stag party, I thought a couple of cakes with naked women would be nice. Perhaps one of you could contact jameson and margoo to see if they would do the honors. If not, perhaps Evening's judge husband in all his naked glory might add a little excitement for Dave. He seems so deprived and all, and after all, even the judge would be an improvement over his bride to be. :booty: :booty: :booty: :booty: :booty: :booty: :booty: :booty: :booty:

 

How could I have forgotten Sydney? I don't know, though. You know how jealous Candy is. Darnay and Candy have a close relationship, you know. Sydney would only be in the way.

Then, again, maybe Candy would rather see Sydney naked than Darnay. Heh.

 

I have it on good authority that Dave will be making the cake - using a packet of Green's Lite cake mixture and a secret filling which he invented himself. He plans to cook it in an antique Baby Belling oven (Pentium III model).

He will also be making the bride's and bridesmaid's dresses too as he is an expert on dressmaking and corsetry. Oh and seemingly, he is also composing the music for the bridal march. My source said that Dave wanted the march to be something really special and that he was remixing the last few seconds of the Ramsey 911 tape with Goldie Lookin' Chain's new record - "Your missus is a nutter".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/music/sites/goldielookinchain/pages/your_missus_is_a_nutter.shtml

See a preview here:-

http://mfile.akamai.com/9139/asf/stream.wmg.com/wmi/uk/glc/YourMissusIsANutter_Dirty_hi.asx

 

*Sigh* Candy is so lucky to be getting such a know-it-all, expert-on-everything husband. A boon for her, a loss for the rest of the world.