JB's grave revisited; weird stuff there...

Some thoughts....

I had no idea that my photos of JB’s gravesite would elicit such diversity of opinions. I confess that I felt honored to be representing all my friends at FFJ. The depth of emotion I felt at the gravesite is impossible to describe. There was such a rush of both elation and depression. The cemetery, especially around JB’s gravesite, is beautiful, but it was a rather gloomy day. I had a hard time writing about all this because I had just been dismissed from the hospital and I was very tired from the 5-hour trip from Mobile.
Plus, the hour-long drive to the cemetery, amid all the Atlanta traffic, added to my sense of frustration.

My first view of the cards and pennies brought about an initial sense of bewilderment, which, within moments, evolved into a sense of warmth and love, leading me to conclude that the donor of these objects was someone who indeed loved JonBenet. My daughter thought it was all very weird. She knows something about "destiny cards" (the first I had ever heard of them) and wondered aloud if all four of the Ramsey’s (Patsy, John, JonBenet and Burke) are number two’s.
She said, “If that’s true, THIS is really weird.†I was surprised at her response. She was in a hurry to leave, claiming that she perceived negative vibrations all around the gravesite.

When I attempted to put the Christmas yew plant on the grave, Molly yelled: “Don’t!†She explained that we shouldn’t touch anything at the gravesite, and she instructed me to put the plant on the ground, just to the right of the grave. We said our prayer a good two feet from the grave.

We hardly spoke two words on the long ride back to my daughter’s house in Atlanta.

There was one other curious thing: The funny emblem, under Donald Paugh’s name and date of birth. You can barely see it in the Paugh grave picture. I have enlarged it and am sending it to Cherokee to see if she will post it for me. Maybe someone can decipher its meaning.

Anyway, thanks to all you wonderful sleuths here at FFJ for your kind remarks and for your great support.

Peace and love,

Greenleaf :leaf:

 

Here's Greenleaf's photo of the symbol underneath Don Paugh's name. She said she scanned the image in purple to help it show up better.

 

P.s.

Forgive me for not mentioning this before but all of this came about because of a suggestion from RIVER RAT!

I was on my way out the door, when I checked the Forum one last time, posting that I was enroute to Atlanta.

River Rat wrote back immediately and suggested that I visit JB's grave and leave flowers for the Forum. Up until then, I had no idea of visiting JB's grave.

Anyway, thanks to RR for making such a wonderful suggestion. And, I am glad I went. It was quite an experience!

Thank you, friend.

:leaf:

 

That's a mason's symbol - the 32nd degree of the Scottish Rite Masonry.

Basically it means he was in the Masons for a long time.

(My alma mater, Georgia Tech, has an annual Scottish Rite JV football game for charity.)

 

Thanks, Wombat. I'm glad you knew what the symbol meant.

 

Thank you Greenleaf for representing us! I too have never seen that kind of yew plant!

Also - there is a tradition in Latvia - and I don't really know if other countries have this - but before you leave or pass over the threshold of the grave yard/cemetary - you are supposed to stomp your feet three times, to leave the "ghosts" there in the cemetary. Anyone else hear about this?

 

I noticed it earlier and guessed it would be a masonic symbol. I didn't think anything of it - I was more intrigued by the fact that he has his name and date of birth already engraved on the stone! Is that common practice in the US? It seems a little macabre. We would normally just leave a complete blank with room for the information, but not carve it out until after the person was deceased. In fact, one of the storylines from a popular British sitcom centres around the fact that Victor is gifted a headstone with his name and DOB already carved in it with the comment that the date of death could be added when they knew it!

Don Paugh is remarried. What's the normal protocol for burial when someone is remarried? Would the second wife go in there too or is there a chance that Don Paugh and his second wife will lie together elsewhere?

 

Here's a picture of the symbol:-

Edited to add - there's a bit missing off the bottom - a kind of scroll. You can see the whole thing on the homepage here:-
http://www.supremecouncil.org/new/home.asp

BTW - top marks to Wombat for being able to name the symbol

 

well... I can only speak for myself on this... My husband's mother is buried (actually a crypt) next to her last husband's wife - with a space for him in between them both! His name is not yet on the crypt though. My mother doesn't have her name engraved on a stone next to my dad - so I'm not too sure how that works in the U.S. either, Jayelles!

 

I think Americans are more likely to remarry latter in life than Brits. Believe it or not, it's quite unusual for an older person to remarry when their spouse dies here. Not that it's universally frowned upon. It IS frowned upon for a person to marry quickly after being widowed. Anything less than two years would be commented upon with disapproval. My mother "fell out" with my aunt after my uncle died - because my aunt found herself a boyfriend fairly quickly. My aunt and uncle had been married for over 40 years and my mother was horrified that she could "replace" him so soon. My uncle has now been dead for 20+ years and my aunt and her "boyfriend" are still together. My mother still exchanges christmas cards with my aunt but she tightens her lips and draws her face into a scowl if her name is mentioned LOL

I can't really think of anyone I know who remarried late in life. I'm not opposed to it - quite the contrary, I think companionship is so important and I love to see elderly couples.

 

I've been to several funerals where the deceased were masons. The masons do a ritual thing during the service. It all seemed weird to me.\

I don't much care for the ornaments/angels in the tree, either.

 

Jay,

I felt exactly the same as you when I first heard of this in Canada. I don't visit grave sites at all. Not since I was a child. I have my reasons, but I was driving past a cemetery with a few friends, close to the Niagara River, and one of the men wanted to stop, because this was where his wife was buried. I truly hung back and explained why I didn't want to venture any closer, but while we were walking towards his wife's grave, he said ..."My name is on there." I nearly flipped, and went no further. I couldn't help but think he was very anxious to join her?

 

How well I remember stories like this, Jay, when I was still in Scotland. I never knew any divorced couples. I met my first when I came over to Canada years ago. It was just unheard of where we lived in Scotland. I know of quite a few divorces over there, now! so it has caught up with Scotland in this department. Anyone who coloured their hair over there was a hussy. So I guess you can all call me one now.

 

LOL. Elle - do you know that just before Christmas one of our main news items was that mice had gotten into a cat home and were driving the cats nutz? Main news.

I also remember when our local paper printed that an umbrella had blown inside out in town that day. Big stuff eh?

 

It's quite common in the south to go ahead and place your stone, with your name and birthdate on it when one spouse dies, or you know where you want to be. When my sister died in 1971, my parents bought the two plots next to her, and went ahead and put their headstone up, with their names and birthdates. It was one less thing I had to do when they both died. I didn't have to pick out and buy the headstone, and I knew they already had what they wanted. I just had to have their date of death put on there. When you go to the funeral home to make the arrangements, they ask if you will be needing a headstone, or if one is already there that just needs to be engraved.

 

1000 Sparks

Maybe Melissa was there to visit the three graves, and brought her little ones along. Maybe they left pennies for Aunt JonBenet. Melissa does still live in the Atlanta area, doesn't she?

Is that symbol under Don Paugh's name a Masonic symbol? Remember all the discussion about the diamond-shaped bruise on JonBenet's neck, and how it may have been caused by a Masonic ring?

Just speculation on my part.

 

LXIV John Ramsey's daughter's name is Melinda.

I received the following information from a friend recently. I found it interesting. I personally would need to research this. I don't know anything about these customs at all, although I have heard about them.

Regarding the pennies on JBRs grave...
In the Jewish faith it is common practice to place small or medium sized pebbles or sometimes pennies on grave stones as a message of "I have been here, I have not forgotten you." Sometimes the pebbles are customized with paint or even engraving. sometimes if suitable pebbles are not available, pennies are used. Also, if someone is unable to attend a gravesite, they will give the visiting person a pebble or coin to be placed on the gravestone for them. (The attendee cannot simply pick a random pebble/coin for placement. The pebble/coin must be passed from hand to hand.)

 

Sorry to hear you were in hospital Greenleaf. I am amazed you still continued with this trip. Sincerely hope this was still on the way to your daughter's house, and you didn't have another two hour journey to face.

Elle

 

When we are brought up with regular customs, Kelly, in the country we were born in, they are not strange to us, but to other nationalities, they will be. We all have so much to learn from each other, don't we? I would imagine, this would save a lot of worry for many families, when the place of rest is decided upon. In a way, I would think it might not be so stressful for you to visit there.