JonBenet Parent's Divorce Blowup

LURKER! I JUST ATE!!

 

Sorry, Bob,

You didn't need that meal anyway.

 

Oh God, Lurker, you've got to stop this right now!! Between your limericks & Angel's pictures with wigs & gargoyles....This is hilarious! I need the laughs!

 

Thor, just one more..

then I'll go away.

Dimples to John:

"Oh, John, can you help with my a$$-
pidistra, it's fading fast;
It's root-bound, you know,
Just shake it up--so!
Oh, yes, you sure do it with class!"

 

Stop! I can't take anymore

I'm cracking up, Lurker, you crazy person, LOL, PIMP, holding my sides. Enough already, I haven't laughed so hard since maim told us JB had fresh flesh under her fingernails. Oh wait, yes I did. When Ned said JB's hymen was eroded from water.

Yeeehaaawwww!!

 

Oh yes, Ned of the eroded hymen. He's posting over at Maxi's now. But that was a hoot. WY, didn't you post a very funny limerick involving Ned's eroded hymen theory? God that was hilarious. I thought I read it here on the archives that Dun has but would have to go look. If anyone finds that, please post it. That will go fabulously with Lurker's.

 

IMO

It sounds like Paulette needs the cucumber, if anyone does.

 

I recall doing

something with Ned's eroded hymen theory, Thor, but I can't remember what it was. Ned said some outrageous things, but that had to be the dumbest.

Heh, speaking of cucumbers, there is a commercial on TV that has this song: "I'm your Venus, I'm your bundle of..."

Everytime I hear it I go into hysterics, because it sounds like they are saying something else. I heard it today and started howling. My daughter was in the bathroom and came running to see what the hey was wrong with me, hahahahaha.

 

Ah...Lurker...(sniff, weep)...those limericks are wonderful...

...and thanks for cheering Thor up...I was beginning to worry about her doldrums. :0)

 

BobC

I was at the grocery store just now and while in line snuck a peak at the pictures of Edmunds and Ricci. I was shocked, one would never know by the face only shots how significantly over weight Edmunds is. They show him in a hospital gown, partially tied in front and a pair of slacks. Talk about tossing your cookies!

Ricci's picture appeared to be his wedding picture perhaps (maybe second wedding.)

 

ROFLMAO

Stop, you're killing me. Water-eroded hymens, cuccumbers for CAP and Polly . . . I'm gonna wet my pants.

ROFL!

Seriously though, it's hard to imagine someone would put their life at risk for Lizard Lips. YUKKKKKK. I'd be helping him pack.

 

JR--but were Edmunds and Ricci in the same photo? Actually I knew Edmunds was heavy when I read his description early on.

 

BobC

Nope the pictures were side by side. I think Edmunds description was way off (maybe even by 30-50%) if I recall it right. The guy weighs over 300 pounds and maybe closer to 400 based on this picture.

 

Okay...whatever

Polly want a cucumber?

I'm your cucumber/venis, I'm your fire, what's your desire?

Oh, those naughty Paugh Paugh Patch girls...I DO declayah!!

 

LMAO Imon:

Polly want a cucumber?

 

SUMbutty stop me!

I can envision Edmundson, beach(ED whale) towel from Omar's tent factory wrapped around his waist (is that an oxymoron, folks?), feet planted firmly together on the floor, snapping his fingers, head bobbing, right hand in fist up to his mouth as a pretend microphone, swaying to and fro, blubber almost tilting him over, to the Fats Domino song:

Gotta whole lotta luvin'...for you

True, true, luvin'...for you

Come on, now, posters. Snap your fingers, get to groovin'! If Eddy Mundsonter can do it, we can to. All together now, sing and swing. imon's leading us and just stay focused on that vision described in paragraph one, here. Let's say the towel is white, for clarity, and he's in the buff under it. Umm, hmm. You got it now!

Whole lotta kisses for you! LOL

 

Just got the tabs. Patsy looks GREAT. She really has star quality. John on the other hand would have to sneak up on a glass of water. Okay that was mean--it's just he's so frikkin' arrogant. Actually he's said way worse than that about me and I have the e-mail to prove it.

 

I can't compete...

..with LXIV, the Limerick Empress, but she inspired me to do these. We should collaborate on an opera.

Intro:

John Boy knows Patsy "no looky"
So he calls up his blonde for some nooky
The only objectors
Are beer can collectors
And Polly, who thinks it' s all ooky.

Secret correspondence between John and his Bimbo:

John says:

I'll leave it to Lin Wood to spin
Why my cheating on Patsy's no sin
Just hand me that tube
Of my Juicy Lube
And leave me with JB's My Twinn

Blondie replies:

I needed some help with my plants
You wanted my hand down your pants
I know I'm a meanie
But where is your weenie?
Guess I won't be blowing your chance.

John counters with:

I know everyone thinks I'm a jerk
I've got nothing to do and no work
Patsy's sick, don't you know?
So I've taken a ho
It's better than jumping on Burke

Then Blondie calls Wright/Gentile:

Oh National Enquirer, stop the presses!
Johnny digs more than gold tresses
I don't mind that he's kinky
But something is hinky
When he makes me wear JonBenet's dresses.

And John tries to win her back with:

I prayed, so this blonde must be God sent
'Case Patsy dies, she's the replacement
Gimme rope, a tickle and slap
And a maglite that goes WHAP!
'Cause loving to me means debasement.

========
Edited to add:
Ooh, BobC, do tell! What did JR say about you?? What a noive.

 

What he said is not printable in a family forum.

 

hey bobc -

Inquiring minds want to know what riled him up and can you give us a hint about what he called you?

Did you send him a picture of jacko? lol