Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Yeah, Punisher, you have been conspicuously subtle of late. Did we scare you with our threats of extra-well done grilling? So sorry. Not to worry. We haven't grilled anyone around here since...oh...Yummie disappeared.... :devil:

 

Something interesting from ACandyRose/magazine archives: from Newsweek January 20, 1997 'Strange World of JonBenet' article:

Newsweek Contributing Editor Frank Deford, was a Miss America judge the year Patsy competed. His notes show she, "speaks well" but described her as "a little automaton."

 

I think

Nice post. What I think is JBR was MUCH beter than Phatsy at the shows, and she was 6 years old, Imagine the storm building up for the former, Miss almost nobody. Remember , THEY in Phaty's mind, were one, JRB told a child that coplimented of all the trophies, JBR SAID (those are my mom's) what a lonely child. iT MAKES ME so MAD@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

I've mentioned my best friend and her narcissistic partner many times on here. Well for those interested, she has just had her book published about what happened to her. It's a little new-agey, but the description of NPD is excellent and well worth reading

God Works For Me Now

The title comes from what he often said and believed

 

How cool is that?! She has truly made lemonade out of the lemon rinds! I hope she profits from the sale of her book, I'm sure it helped her just to write it.

 

Yep it's really cool and I'm so proud of her :laughup:

She's made gallons and gallons of lemonade - she had to leave the UK to get away from him and now lives in Spain, and she's written this book, part of 3 book trilogy. I don't think she's getting much money, but that wasn't the point of the books. As you say, the writing of it helped her tremendously.

She's now involved with a Domestic Violence Org. in Spain. She hopes the books will help highlight both DV and Narcissism, and how most judicial systems cannot cope with both at the same time.

 

It was cathartic for your friend to write her books, Amber. You have every right to be proud of her. I wish her all the best. Sounds like she had quite a traumatic time. I am glad she is free.

 

I have forgotten if you told us, but this guy - did he get any jail time or is he still just running around loose? Sometimes it's better for the victim if she just disappears - he will usually find another victim instead of holding a grudge and coming after her when he gets out.

 

He did two terms of 5 months and 3 months.

He's still running around in the UK. After the second term he was forced to see a psychiatrist who finally judged that he had an untreatable personality disorder...therefore they wouldn't treat him! Can you believe that?

I have a draft copy of the book on my PC...I will see if I can find an extract.

 

The communication between us grew increasingly more intense. Jaya's compulsive demands for me to “shut my mouth and listenâ€, seemed to dominate every conversation and understandably created in me the opposite effect. Little by little, I could feel myself withdrawing, confused and overwhelmed by his seemingly untamed and erratic outbursts that appeared to make very little sense.
He was, he told me, the keeper of ‘secret’ and ‘sacred’ knowledge and it was his role to make all humanity understand. ‘How could the world embrace him and believe his claims, when his own partner, the woman he loved above all things, seemed to reject what he was saying?’
The powerful drive to make me understand became almost a mission in itself. When I listened and tried to understand, I was his magnificent soul partner, his ideal woman and together we would change the world. When I challenged him or reacted defensively to his often cruel and injurious remarks, I was a woman of “limited understanding†and … ‘not even fit to sit at his table’.
I was struggling to reconcile his demands for closeness and ‘utmost respect’ with the compulsion to push me further and further away. It was as though in distancing himself from me, he was in some way sadistically withholding his love. The more he withheld, the more I tried, in my love for him, to keep him close to me. Slowly, little by little, I watched our relationship degenerate into a web of warped, destructive power games…

Nothing could have prepared me for that fateful telephone call which woke me just after midnight on Friday 2nd June 2000, a day that will be imprinted on my mind forever. All the irrational ramblings that had gone before I could have dismissed as mild insanity, put down to lack of sleep, irregular eating patterns, stress or some other human phenomena. But this was coming from a place far more sinister.

“Are you with me baby?†he began, pacing his words to the slow, rhythmic beat of a drum. “SAY IT I NEED TO HEAR YOU SAY IT “… “ARE YOU WITH ME BABY?†he thundered. The question hung in the air with an ear piercing shriek that caused me to wrench the phone about a foot away from my ears. There was something dark and almost mocking in his tone.

“Don’t you know that the greatest man ever to live has been in your bed … and he can still stay in your bed if you let him. But if you push him, then he’ll be gone, and that’s what makes him that great. You with me now baby? ARE YOU WITH ME NOW?â€

I began stammering through muffled sobs; “I’m … I’m …frightened by what’s happening to you,†I answered thinly.

A bizarre torrent of words followed, one moment high pitched and deafening, the next, feverish and whispered.

“My momentum’s building everyday now…†he went on, “every day it’s building and you can see it, you can see it, and you really want to come with me, but the darkness is holding you back ! Giving you excuses to stay back, yea? I’m the light, I want you to come with me, so bad, but you can only come with me if you’re true. True from the heart, no pretending, ‘cause I can pick everything up.
You know how much power I’ve got don’t you? ‘I’m figuring things out at such a rate … and I’m going to tell you something, Jacky? They will try and blow my house up: they will try and blow me up, but you know something else? They won’t do it. Why? … cause I’m the only man who's right! And they’re all going to make me out the bad guy … 666 is his birthday they’ll say, right? Satan’s number - 666 they’ll say … you with me? He’s the Satan, the sign is there! I told you a long time ago remember? My birthday is 6.4.66 … and I’m telling you now so you can go and tell the world … that I’m 666 … that’s if you wanna work for them. But the minute you break the code, then you broke the code not me.
The dark forces are working Jacky … You know that same day that Nostradamus said that the world would blow up, I’m the man who’s blowing it up

 

wow, powerful words Amber.
Your friend's book sounds fascinating. I wish her the best of luck.

 

I'm thinking this book may very well be too difficult for many women to read. Amber; especially the women who are already in a bad sitution themselves, and then again, it may send a warning to them (?). It's a very difficult subject.

Your friend must have suffered a great deal. This is horrendous.

 

Wow, that's incredible. To me, just with that little bit of dialogue, it sounds like bipolar with grandiose and paranoid beliefs. He thinks he's omnipotent and also that everyone is out to get him. A very dangerous configuration indeed. Whenever someone starts referring to themselves as third person, like "that's what makes HIM great," there's a little mental process going on. For some, it's more than a little.

It certainly worries me that this man is on the streets. He should be locked away somewhere and heavily medicated. eeekkk.... :yow:

 

This was during one of his more 'severe' periods...the rest of the time he could convince people he was as normal as you or I. He got awards for being a great business man; he convinced police, lawyers, judges, psychiatrists that Jacky was the one with problem and they all believed him. He convinced many serious business men to invest in his many schemes..if you met him you'd think she made it up...but the above phone call was taped, like many other calls and incidents and I witnessed much of it myself....

He fitted all the criteria for NPD obviously at the extreme end of the spectrum with the addition of Bipolar...

He once spent 20 minutes threatening to kill me if I didn't stop 'interfering' in his relationship with her. I stood my ground...the next thing I know he's trying to kiss my feet in admiration.

 

My brother-in-law was a narcissistic jerk, but he wasn't crazy. In fact, he was extremely intelligent.

Amber, your friend's husband may have NPD, but he's also crazy as a loon. There's a lot more going on there than just bipolar disease and NPD, IMO.

 

Yes, I know that profile, minus the bipolar. The pity of it is that they make you doubt yourself and everything you knew before you met them.

I'm sure that most of the murder-suicides we hear about are people like this man.

I hope you never come into contact with such a person again. Has he ever owned a firearm? I assume not, since he's in GB. Scary

 

My ex was/is a narcissist as well, and also extremely intelligent.

Lots of brains but no soul

 

Exactly right. But they can be charming devils. My BIL loved to throw parties and invite everyone. He was a wonderful host, lots of free-flowing liquor, food. Of course, I knew it was all to satisfy his own ego, try to make people think he was as wonderful as he thought he was. Underneath it all, it was all about him. I never took his chit, and I used to get on him about the way he treated my sister, especially when she got sick and everything still remained all about him. One day my sister called me because she was very sick, and he was busy throwing a party in his lavish basement. My sister died that night. Two weeks later he met some slut in the mental ward of the hospital where he was taken after he took too many pills. He moved her into my sister's home when they both got out. A year later, he and a new woman sold everything and left for Las Vegas. His two teenage daughters were left behind - we took care of them. He never sent money for the girls and thought it was terrible that they didn't cater to him.

I know all about narcissistic.

BTW, my BIL was smuggled out of Germany in a box car, so the story goes. He was very handsome and, as I said before, intelligent. He was adopted by a German couple in the US. He never knew his real parents or anything about them.

 

Oh that's sad, WY. I'm so sorry about your sister. I'm glad you were there for the girls.

 

The really sad thing, Elle, is that in this case, the acorns really didn't fall far from the tree - both girls are narcissistic; however, their narcissism is tempered by my sister's genes. Where their father was off the scale in his narcissism, they are probably weighing in on the lesser side.