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  1. #1

    Default John Is Forging Ahead

    oh brother!

    http://www.ajc.com/news/content/metr...212ramsey.html


    Tues, Dec. 12, 2006
    Hope drives JonBenet's dad to forge new life, but slowly

    By MICHELLE HISKEY
    The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

    Published on: 12/12/06

    John Ramsey doesn't play much golf, a sport that makes even the best suffer. And the man the world knows as JonBenet's dad is suffering during a recent round at East Lake Golf Club.

    He's averaging a double bogey per hole — two strokes over par.


    Rich Addicks/Staff

    John Ramsey, father of JonBenet Ramsey, plays a round of golf at the East Lake Golf Club with AJC reporter Michelle Hiskey.


    Rich Addicks/Staff

    John Ramsey looked back on events in his life, including his daughter JonBenet's murder, during a round of golf. 'What really bugs me is the tag line that's always under [JonBenet's] picture that says 'child beauty queen,'' he said. 'She was so much more than that. ... She was our spark plug. She was 100 percent Patsy.'

    The foursome who cut in front of him are playing slowly, as if every shot is costing them money.

    It starts to rain, and he doesn't have a jacket or an umbrella.

    He could quit, but he's on the 16th tee box, a long walk from the shelter of the clubhouse. Mired in this chosen misery, Ramsey simply shrugs, smiles and swings away.

    More than anything, Ramsey the golfer and Ramsey the survivor hold on to hope.

    When you've lost two daughters and a wife, and lived through the hell of public suspicion that you've murdered your littlest one, hope is what keeps you going.

    "I do believe there will be a resolution," he says quietly, while approaching the green, regarding the investigation into his daughter's death a decade ago this month. A TV report recently revealed that, within weeks of his daughter's death, Colorado investigators had DNA evidence suggesting he wasn't the killer.

    Ramsey takes another whack at the ball as the rain falls. He recalls the advice of his father, who taught him the game when he was a kid in Nebraska.

    "Don't say a word about the shot until it lands," his father would say.

    You never know how a shot will end up. A bad one can get a lucky bounce and end up fine.

    Ramsey's life is suspended like that. At 63, he's waiting to see where he will land.

    He's living in Atlanta, where his and wife Patsy's family roots have always been, where she died of ovarian cancer six months ago with him at her bedside.

    He sold their home and lives in a condo. He doesn't know what his next job will be, only that he will have to work after years of legal bills and poor business decisions made under stress. He's counting on his business instincts to sniff out a good next step, but not right away.

    "I learned the hard way not to make big decisions quickly," he says, regretting that he started one company while under grand jury investigation. "I'm going to stay here for a while."

    That means plenty of time for golf. He plays when someone invites him, usually a half-dozen times a year.

    "I was going to check the air in my tires, but I can do that tomorrow," he says, laughing. "My schedule is wide open."

    On the course, Ramsey looks like just another businessman trying to break 100 — except for his temper. He stays on an even keel, barely saying "shoot" over a bad shot and mostly joking that another one in the trees "shows that I'm back on my game."

    "I've had worse," he often says as he finds another ball off the fairway.

    Showing up with a golf bag that is missing a strap and head covers, he's not playing to impress anyone. Yet his competitive nature rises in his smile about how he won his Ping B60i putter in a bet two decades ago. He never bothered to take the sales sticker off the bottom.

    His best shot this round comes on the second hole, when his perfectly struck wedge shot from 20 yards falls in the cup — for a bogey 4.

    As he tells his story between shots, his bitterness starts and ends with the detectives in charge of his case. He calls them Barneys minus an Andy Griffith to keep them from their own stupidity.

    In his quiet tone and with his earnest gray-green eyes, he doesn't come off as mean-spirited. Meanness has no place in the manners he learned on the golf course from his dad.

    The elder Ramsey was a "hump pilot" in World War II, flying supplies across the Himalayas. He returned with stories, not of the real danger but of humorous exploits.

    Saturday mornings, he'd tee off with his oldest boy as his caddie.

    "He was someone I never saw lose his cool," the son said. "Caddying for him was like torture. It was hotter than blazes in the summer. But I learned the etiquette and I learned how to play."

    From his dad, Ramsey learned to fly a plane — he still does, "for transportation and to feel free." He went on to the kind of business success sons like to show their dads.

    In Atlanta, Ramsey started a computer company, which was later bought by Lockheed Martin. A member of the Capital City Club for 20 years, Ramsey played golf for business back when only people he knew recognized him.

    "At that point, I could have made a list of 500 things that I would imagine happening," he says during his round. "And none of what did happen would have made that list."

    At that point in his life, Ramsey rarely paid attention to the emotional world outside his own. He regularly attended church as a payment to "God's protection racket, so nothing bad would happen."

    Then his daughter Beth — the oldest of three children from his previous marriage — died in a 1992 car wreck.

    "The first words out of my mouth were 'There is no God,' " Ramsey says.

    In his grief and anger, his life changed after a business associate reached out to him.

    "He told me he had been praying for me for 15 years," Ramsey recalls. "We started studying the Bible together every week."

    His faith didn't foresee that life could get worse. Much worse.

    "You never really get over [the death of a child]," he says. "But I thought that losing Beth was my burden, my battle scar, and that was all I'd have to go through."

    Then JonBenet was gone. He was the one who found her dead on Christmas night 1996. She was his namesake — he's John Bennett.

    "That [loss] was different, because we had to fight," Ramsey says. "It was different because there was another human being responsible, and we were under siege."

    As his round continues, so does his story.

    Ramsey remains a bit mystified over how his daughter's death drew so much attention.

    "Two thousand child murders a year in America, and you can't name another one," he says.

    He has pinpointed some reasons.

    "There was a lot of [media] bandwidth because the O.J. Simpson trial had recently finished, and there was a feeling that he got away with it and whoever did this was not going to get away with it," Ramsey says.

    "Then we were portrayed as wealthy, and no one likes rich people. It's not that a lot of people buy tabloids, but if you see a headline often enough when you buy groceries, you start to think that there's something to it."

    On the advice of lawyers, he and his wife remained silent for three years. They saw their daughter's memory get twisted into that of a girl they did not recognize.

    "What really bugs me is the tag line that's always under her picture that says 'child beauty queen,'" he says. "She was so much more than that. ... She was our spark plug. She was the energy in our family. She was 100 percent Patsy."

    Then Patsy was gone.

    Ramsey had seen her through a first bout with ovarian cancer when JonBenet was in preschool, when doctors gave her a 5 percent chance to live. He pushed to get her in a clinical trial for Taxol, now a commonplace treatment.

    "When the cancer came back," he says, "we knew it would be bad."

    He lost his vivacious partner — a former Miss West Virginia — and the spirit that had kept them together through so much.

    "Eighty percent of couples end up divorced after the loss of a kid," he says. "When you are really devastated, you look at your spouse to carry you, and they can't because they're just as devastated. We would tell each other, 'We're not going to have any pity parties.' "

    When they met, she was in marketing and played golf regularly, unaware of the nuances of the game.

    "She liked to tell the story about how she saw an advertisement for a better short game," Ramsey says. "She thought that meant she'd be able to play in two hours, not five."

    Hardest of all for him was letting go when nothing more could be done for her. He also let go of trying to unravel why all this happened.

    "People said that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but that's baloney," he says in an angry tone on the 13th hole. "God gave JonBenet more than she could handle."

    Yet faith remains essential to him.

    A friend, he says, challenged him: "John, do you believe your best days are ahead of you?"

    "Of course I didn't," Ramsey says. "But I always did believe that, back before all this. And I realized that thinking that way is hope."

    On this blustery, balmy day, the pre-winter turf of East Lake provides a fitting backdrop for a man in transition, who never sought public attention and is trying to make the best of what's left after so much has been taken away.

    This course, one of Atlanta's oldest, was nearly forsaken until a developer renovated it and brought back its luster.

    Ramsey appreciates the transformation. He gets most of his exercise fixing up his cottage in Michigan. His life is like that now, too.

    "Every house I've had I've renovated," he said. "But you don't want to do something too fast. You need to live in it for a while first.

    "I have to reinvent my life, and I want to take my time doing it right now. I don't want any more turmoil."

    This time of year remains difficult because holiday music reminds him of JonBenet's last Christmas. For years, he and Patsy didn't put up a tree. Then they realized their son, Burke, and John's two adult children needed them.

    So did strangers seeking hope. One woman wrote to say she had planned suicide.

    "If you can handle your problems, I can handle mine," Ramsey recalls her writing.

    And that hope carries over at East Lake. Not many golfers would be happy with Ramsey's 108. But they're not him.

    "I hit a lot more good shots than usual," he says in a chipper voice.

    Seeing beyond the score — that's hope, in John Ramsey's world.

  2. #2

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    JR and reporter Michelle Hiskey.




  3. #3
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    No...not a good move JR ...Golf? What is it that OJ is always accused of these days? Looking for the murderer of his wife from the golf course?

    She was 100 percent Patsy.'
    as in she wore her like wet underwear? She was 100 % Jonbenet, idiot!

    There's that 100%, 99% ransom note thing again!

    ETA: Man Boobs
    "She wore him like wet underwear"

    “Some explanations of a crime are not explanations: they're part of the crime.” Olavo de Cavarlho

  4. #4

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    Amber,
    lol, I was going to use 'man boobs' as the caption under John's picture. His boobs are as big as Karrs. lol

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by tylin
    Amber,
    lol, I was going to use 'man boobs' as the caption under John's picture. His boobs are as big as Karrs. lol

    Perhaps they have more in common than we thought?
    "She wore him like wet underwear"

    “Some explanations of a crime are not explanations: they're part of the crime.” Olavo de Cavarlho

  6. #6

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    Well heck...isn't OJ looking for his 'intruder' on the golf course also? Perhaps John thinks he will find his mysterious 'intruder' on the golf course too.

    When did John grow man boobs?

    I think John is planning some political comeback or corporate job or wants to remarry and thus the campaign for his innocence.

    Or it could be John and Woody haven't sued enough people lately to support John's golfing habit.

    After refusing to talk to police, John hires famous defense attorneys for himself, Patsy, Burke, Melinda, JR, EX wife etc, only days after his daughter was murdered in his home and he can't figure out why people think it's odd to do so?

  7. #7
    RiverRat's Avatar
    RiverRat is offline FFJ Sr. Member Extraordinaire (Pictured at Left is Patsy Ramsey)
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    Whew....it's about time.....I thought that John had completely glossed over Chapter 13 of the murderer handbook.....even Scott Peterson went out swinging.

    Also - I assumed that John is used to going without support.......and hence, the boobies.
    "Don't play dumb with me, RR! You're no good at it." The Punisher

    "Although no one is anticipating a prompt resolution to this long and much-detoured case, perhaps - just perhaps - might we see one of those moments “when a chance arrow of history scores a perfect bullseye on a deserving target”? Steve Thomas 2009

    "Justice hasn't had a chance so far. Anyone who doesn't have this as their prime goal, we'll have a falling out with." Fleet White - Time Magazine

    "What happens is that evil comes in," Fleet says. "If you don't have truth, all you have are lies, then what comes in is evil. And evil just does its thing. In the Ramsey case, it just did its thing, and it's eaten up so many people."

  8. #8
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    "Two thousand child murders a year in America, and you can't name another one," he says.

    Jason Midyette

    Next?
    "Don't play dumb with me, RR! You're no good at it." The Punisher

    "Although no one is anticipating a prompt resolution to this long and much-detoured case, perhaps - just perhaps - might we see one of those moments “when a chance arrow of history scores a perfect bullseye on a deserving target”? Steve Thomas 2009

    "Justice hasn't had a chance so far. Anyone who doesn't have this as their prime goal, we'll have a falling out with." Fleet White - Time Magazine

    "What happens is that evil comes in," Fleet says. "If you don't have truth, all you have are lies, then what comes in is evil. And evil just does its thing. In the Ramsey case, it just did its thing, and it's eaten up so many people."

  9. #9
    RiverRat's Avatar
    RiverRat is offline FFJ Sr. Member Extraordinaire (Pictured at Left is Patsy Ramsey)
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    "I was going to check the air in my tires, but I can do that tomorrow," he says, laughing. "My schedule is wide open."

    What a perfect time to sing Larry The Cable Guy's Christmas Carol.....

    Get a Job, You Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum.......
    "Don't play dumb with me, RR! You're no good at it." The Punisher

    "Although no one is anticipating a prompt resolution to this long and much-detoured case, perhaps - just perhaps - might we see one of those moments “when a chance arrow of history scores a perfect bullseye on a deserving target”? Steve Thomas 2009

    "Justice hasn't had a chance so far. Anyone who doesn't have this as their prime goal, we'll have a falling out with." Fleet White - Time Magazine

    "What happens is that evil comes in," Fleet says. "If you don't have truth, all you have are lies, then what comes in is evil. And evil just does its thing. In the Ramsey case, it just did its thing, and it's eaten up so many people."

  10. #10

    Angry


    This time of year remains difficult because holiday music reminds him of JonBenet's last Christmas. For years, he and Patsy didn't put up a tree. Then they realized their son, Burke, and John's two adult children needed them.


    I guess he forgot to reread their pack of lies in DoLie. No where in that book, that I recall does it ever mention that they went years without putting up a tree. In fact, Patsy thought God spoke to her and told her that she needed Christmas more than anyone.

    Good grief, he needs someone to keep his lies straight for him.

    Man boobs, BWHAAAA!

    The above is just my opinion, right or wrong, but please leave it at FFJ.

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    Destiny Norton.
    This post, unless it is a legal court document, may not be carried in part, or in its entirety to any other discussion forum or bulletin board without the express written consent of the party who wrote it. It is proprietary to the author and to www.forumsforjustice.org. Violators will be reported to their Internet Service Providers.

  12. #12
    RiverRat's Avatar
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    "This time of year remains difficult because holiday music reminds him of JonBenet's last Christmas. For years, he and Patsy didn't put up a tree. Then they realized their son, Burke, and John's two adult children needed them."

    BS. Patsy told all of us how God spoke to her and told that that she, of all people, needed Christmas - and this was the first Chistmas after JonBenet was murdered.
    "Don't play dumb with me, RR! You're no good at it." The Punisher

    "Although no one is anticipating a prompt resolution to this long and much-detoured case, perhaps - just perhaps - might we see one of those moments “when a chance arrow of history scores a perfect bullseye on a deserving target”? Steve Thomas 2009

    "Justice hasn't had a chance so far. Anyone who doesn't have this as their prime goal, we'll have a falling out with." Fleet White - Time Magazine

    "What happens is that evil comes in," Fleet says. "If you don't have truth, all you have are lies, then what comes in is evil. And evil just does its thing. In the Ramsey case, it just did its thing, and it's eaten up so many people."



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